I’ve started writing my New Year’s Resolution List. This year I’ve decided to share that list with the world. If my loyal readers see me falling off the wagon, I expect them to holler at me, send me a nasty email or show up at my door with a you broke your resolution citation.
Ok here goes…
1. I am going to find a shoe-a-holic anonymous group and join immediately. It is silly for a woman whose feet are spreading faster than butter on toast to have 56 pairs of I’ll never fit into them again shoes in her closet.
2.I promise to trim the dead ends off my hair at least twice a year. Due to a lifetime of bad haircuts, I turn purple and stop breathing when a hair stylist says, ” I’ll just take a little off the ends.” I will learn to place my trust in them but only if I bring someone with me to protect my mane.
3. I will continue to read food labels and stay away from products with high fructose corn syrup. I can’t risk my youngest daughter A.K.A. the HFCS POLICE finding this “poison” in my cupboards. She put so much work into changing my eating habits!!
4. I will keep on writing comedy even if I don’t make enough money from my gigs to buy myself dinner after the show. What’s the big deal if I’m not the highest paid 58 year old Jewish female comic. ( I wonder how many there are?) As long as they don’t throw tomatoes at me…I should be happy…right?
It’s almost 4 A.M. and I’m too tired to add anything else to this list. Forget that poor excuse.The truth is… I think it’s about all I can handle for 2010!!