A woman gently helps an elegant elderly lady up from her chair and offers her arm as support as they slowly leave the cafe. The lady’s face is beaming as she leans over and kisses the cheek of the younger woman who like her, has luminous brown eyes and curly hair.”Thank-you for taking me to lunch my darling daughter” she says as they stroll down the street enjoying the beautiful day.

This is a fantasy I have created and played back hundreds of times. I never had the chance to see this happen because my beloved mother died in 1991, long before I was ready to say goodbye. I can’t count how many times through the years, I have thought about how different life would have been for my mother and our family if she had been spared the agony of a 14 year illness and a painful ending. My father, her children and grandchildren loved her more than I can ever describe. Losing her devastated our family.

There are times I have to stop myself from going up to a person on the street (who is obviously annoyed with his/her mother for whatever reason) and saying, ” Listen to me…Don’t waste one precious moment being upset about something that in the course of your life, will probably hold no importance. You have this time together, as mother and child, to love each other, learn from each other and make memories. Give your mother a kiss and tell her that you love her. Life is too short to harbor grudges.”

As we approach Mother’s Day 2009, I think about my Mother and how I would give anything if I could wrap my arms around her, inhale her delicious Mommy scent and give her a huge hug.

Instead, I will close my eyes and take a trip down memory lane.

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