Sometimes in life, tragedy strikes and we are left picking up the pieces of our shattered lives. For weeks I have been thinking about Abbie Dorn, a beautiful young mother of triplets who was injured during the birth of her babies. Her husband divorced her and took the babies. Abbie’s parents are fighting on their daughter’s behalf, for visitation rights. The case may drag out in the courts for years.
I understand why this case upsets me so much. I am the daughter of a woman who was stricken with a debilitating illness in the prime of her life. Slowly her body failed her but she struggled to keep herself from losing her mind. Her life was filled with stimulation and constant visits from her children and other loved ones. Never once did my Father suggest that we stay away! She was my Mother…I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life.
I remember the first time I assisted my Mother in the bathroom. She was embarrassed that she needed someone to help her with such intimate things. She turned to me and said, “Debi darling, this is not the way it’s supposed to be. ” I replied, ” You brought me into this world and took care of me when I needed you. I am your daughter and I will do the same for you!”
I am saddened that Abbie Dorn’s husband divorced her. I know I feel this way because of the beautiful example set by my beloved Father. He like Abbie’s husband, was raised an Orthodox Jew. He cherished my Mother with all his heart, remaining her soul mate and loving companion until the end of her life.
I realize that not every married person is capable of handling the “till death do us part” but my question is…What would Abbie’s husband have done if she didn’t have a loving family to step in and take over? Would he have institutionalized her? The thought of that brings tears to my eyes.
As my youngest son wrote when he was only seven years old, “People are not born prejudice. they are taught to be prejudice.” When I was a child, my parents took me ( many times) to visit my cousin David, who was severely brain damaged at birth. I never felt any negative thoughts because no-one ever spoke of David in anything but loving ways. I would kiss his kepelah (head in Yiddish) and stroke his arms. The years have faded many of my memories of those visits, but the one thing that I remember is how much we loved him.
I hope and pray that Abbie’s husband will not teach his children to be fearful of the disabled . I hope and pray that the children will be encouraged to give their Mother unconditional love.
I believe that what Abbie needs is our prayers and all the positive support that we can send her. Though not all of us can wrap our arms around Abbie and give her a hug, I believe strongly that she will feel our love coming from every corner of the world.
* Please join the Facebook group called Stand Up For Abbie Dorn.
Below is the chorus of a beautiful song written by my son, Jason It is called “I Believe In Miracles”…Jason is dedicating this song to Abbie Dorn with love. The little girl in the video is my beloved granddaughter.
“I believe in miracles…I believe in you…and I believe in all the things love will often do…I believe in you!”