I am claustrophobic. It all started 37 years ago, when I was confined in an elevator and couldn’t get out. I felt the walls caving in on me and I couldn’t breathe. When I finally got out, I tried to forget about it.

Several years later, I was at an amusement park and went on a submarine ride. I started to feel like I was suffocating and had to get off.

As the years passed, I noticed that whenever I was under any kind of major stress or was exhausted, my claustrophobia symptoms became worse. I once went on a long distance train trip with all 4 of my young children. As the doors closed, I felt a sense of panic. I couldn’t breathe. My teenage daughter (at the time) held my hand and told me everything was going to be fine.

Plane trips became unbearable and to this day, I look for any excuse to travel by car.

I can’t sit in the center of a restaurant booth, movie theater, car or in the center of a any kind of seating. I once had to walk out of an amazing opera (my husband won tickets) because the seats were very close together.

I will walk up 14 flights of stairs if it means avoiding an elevator. When I am forced to go on one, I feel like my heart is going to explode.

When I travel and have to stay in a hotel, I sometimes feel closed in if the room doesn’t have a big window.

When I recently downsized, I searched and found a townhome with high ceilings and lots of windows. It was a challenge to find a smaller place that would not make me feel boxed in.

I have a difficult time having any dental work done because when someone is working on my mouth, I feel like I can’t breathe. I am VERY drug sensitive. The one time I agreed to a mild sedative, I spent the next 8 hours throwing up.

I thought about my claustrophobia today because the media is coming down hard on Paula Deen for not admitting that she was diabetic until several years after her diagnosis. I always thought she was terribly brave, conquering her agoraphobia and building a lucrative business.

I don’t think people should be so judgmental.

They haven’t walked in her shoes.

35 Years!

Jan 16th, 2012, Richard and I will be celebrating our 35th Anniversary. I think that’s a pretty good accomplishment in this day and age considering I know couples who stay together less time than the warranty on their appliances.  I asked my husband yesterday (when he purchased his lottery ticket), “If you win all those millions, don’t you want to trade me in for a new wife?” He said, “Why on earth would I do that?” looking at me as if I had just asked him to give away his favorite shirt with all the old cars on it!

Sometimes young people ask me my secret for a happy marriage. I wrote a story about that a while ago.

I think one of the relationship problems  in today’s world is couples have very high and sometimes unreasonable expectations. Keep your expectations simple and life will be happier. My husband and I were watching a television show about a young couple purchasing their first home. It’s called Property Virgins.  The wife was vetoing every house because the master bathrooms didn’t have two sinks. “I need MY space!” she whined. My husband and I were laughing because  (in our first house) we were happy just to have a bathroom in our bedroom that didn’t have to be shared with our 4 kids. That was real luxury to us. The poor husband on the show kept trying to remind his wife that they only had a certain amount of money to spend. My very wise husband said, “I give that marriage six months!”

I think the most successful marriages are the ones where the spouses are also really good friends. Where a simple act of kindness or a smile can be his or her way of saying, “I love you!”  Where the person doesn’t do a disappearing act when you are so sick  you can’t hold your head up or you’ve just received sad news and you need a shoulder to cry on.

I think the secret for a long lasting marriage is fireworks that make you say, “Wow!”… an unconditional commitment of love and waking up next to your spouse (even 35 years later) thinking, ” I am one lucky person!”

That’s what I will be thinking on January 16th…

The other day my husband and I were coming back from a business meeting when he suddenly decided to stop by the side of the highway and take pictures of me on an old bridge. I’d been on that bridge before and remembered how I felt as the bridge swayed with each step I took.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. “That bridge is even older now…and what if I fall in the river?”

“Where’s your spirit of adventure?”  he replied. “I promise you that no-one is falling in the river!”

Grabbing his camera, he came around to my side of the car and opened the door. “Let’s do this while the sun is still shining!”

He went ahead of me to test the bridge and called out, “It’s is sturdy as can be!”

I went on the bridge very cautiously noticing that a lot of the wood planks looked like they were about to break. As I walked, the bridge started to swing very slightly, not a great thing for someone who deals with bouts of vertigo. I looked down at the river and wondered to myself, “If I fall will I hopefully miss the rocks? Will Richard be able to rescue me as I’m floating down the river?”

My husband a.k.a The Photographer snapped me back to reality and gave me instructions on where to stand. “Perfect!” he said as he took a few pictures. “The sun looks like a halo over you!”

He studied the pictures for a moment. “These might be the GREATEST pictures I’ve ever taken of you in 35 years of marriage.”

He looked at me and asked, “Aren’t you glad we took time out of our busy day for a little adventure?”

I looked at my husband’s grinning face and saw that 25 year old guy I fell madly in love with all those years ago.

Flashing my biggest smile (which he didn’t catch on camera but that’s ok ) …I replied, “It was our BEST one ever!”

Then, I made my way (slowly) to the end of the bridge and back to our car on the side of the busy highway.

Debi on bridge

I recently organized a community yard sale at the development where I live. Several other families chose to participate with me. Each one set up in their own individual driveways.

In October, in the mountains of North Carolina, it is usually very cold at the wee hours of the morning. I was dressed in my warmest jogging suit, dashing around trying to keep from shivering. The sale was scheduled  to begin at 8 but the first customer showed up at 6:45. She was a sweet lady and she apologized for being such an early bird. She wandered around talking to herself. I felt badly that I couldn’t give her my undivided attention.

Folks started showing up at 8 and the steady stream of customers continued all morning.

As those of you who are loyal readers know…I LOVE meeting new people and find a story in just about everyone!

Here are some of the items I sold at my yard sale and a little about the “characters” who purchased them.

The  Dresser…A solid wood, sturdy dresser with just enough scratches on it to make it look like it had an interesting history. This dresser, which child #4 inherited from an older brother, moved with my youngest son to many of his places of residence until he relocated to L.A. If it could talk, it would have many stories to share because its last owner. a.k.a. Adventure Paul leads an exciting life! p.s. I sold it to a woman who actually seemed thrilled about finding exactly what she wanted. I liked her smile which is why she beat out everyone else for the dresser!

The Bride Doll… This beautiful doll, whose base is actually an umbrella went to a VERY adorable lady in her 60′s, (she told me her age) who insisted on having me give my doll a name before she left the yard sale. After much discussion, we decided to name it Debi (what a surprise). The lady took my business card and promised to take me to lunch. We exchanged funny stories as I walked her back to her truck.

The Straw Hat…A man picked up one of my husband’s straw hats and said, “Why are YOU selling this terrific hat?” He paid my husband the 50 cents and went down the driveway with a huge grin on his face and complimenting himself for getting such a bargain! My husband grabbed the other straw hat he had put up for sale and wore it the rest of the yard sale! A little guilt perhaps that he gave away SUCH a treasure?

The wire baskets…A professional yard sale shopper picked up eight brand new wire baskets that retailed for $5 and were being sold for .50 each and said, “I’ll take them all for $3..ok? I handed her the remaining two and said, “This is your lucky day! You can buy all 10 for only $5.” She gave me a “you’re on to me” look and paid me the $5!!

The small dining room table and chairs…This was the MOST popular item of all. It was practically brand new and had been bought when I “staged” my previous house while it was on the market.  A cute young girl fell in love with it and decided she wanted to buy it. After she and her Mother left to go to the ATM and withdraw money to buy it, three other people wanted it. I could have had a bidding war and made a few extra dollars, but I take my promises seriously. When the girl and her Mother returned with the money, my husband made me guess the girl’s age…She looked about 14 but turned out to be 22.When her brother came with her Father to help her load it up in the car, I guessed the brother’s age as 16. He was 13 and a head taller than his big sister.

Last tidbit…The cute young girl( who looked 14 but was really 22)  fell in love with my snazziest purse and wanted to buy it. Since I already had sold the table at exactly what I wanted, I threw it in as a gift with the dining room table and chairs. She gave me a look like she had won the lottery!

As everyone drove off, I thanked them for shopping at Debi’s Boutique and invited them back next year!

I was offline for a few days and when I went back on, I discovered that Facebook had completely revamped their format. People of all ages are complaining but I believe that MY generation is suffering the worst anxiety over the changes.

I am part of the generation that got excited when the electric typewriter was invented which eventually led to  …are you ready??…a WORD PROCESSOR!!  When the computer was invented and eventually available to the public, we were the generation who had to turn to out technologically savvy kids to teach us how to use them.

We are the generation that remembers shopping BEFORE indoor malls and discount warehouses….eating out before most fast foods  chains…long distance phone calls that cost a small fortune…. television before color and remote controls.. making popcorn before the microwave was invented……the list goes on and on.

Which explains why we are the generation that is deeply appreciative of the opportunity to rekindle long ago friendships and find extended family thanks to Facebook. We know our boundaries when it comes to posting embarrassing things on our children’s pages. (One warning is sufficient!)

So bear with us if we go into panic mode when warnings like, “If you don’t click this and check this and fix this and do a hundred other things, your Facebook page will now look like a maze and your worst enemy and the meanest bully from elementary school will now be able to see your page and humiliate you!”

I’m exhausted and I haven’t fixed a darn thing yet!

Excuse me while I hop off my computer and find some good old fashioned paper and a writing instrument my generation used to love…It’s called a ballpoint pen!

I’ve got a letter to write which I’m sending by snail mail!

Those good old days!